I Never Kiss And Tell
by Xo-StoryTeller-oX
Summary: We all know Haruhi's story about her adventures with The Host Club, but what would the story be like if she arrived at Ouran with her adopted sister, Sakura. Let's find out shall we. Follow Sakura as she makes new friends, falls in love, and struggles to keep her sanity with all of The Host Clubs antics going on around her. FULL SUMMARY INSIDE - RATING T - DRAMA/HUMOUR/ROMANCE


**AN* Hello readers!**

 **I am actually so proud of myself for this story, as not all of the stories I have written turn out this well, so I hope you like it too. I'll try not to go on for too long, but I'd appreciate you read the Author's Notes, or at least this first one, as I could clear up some of you questions:**

 **I have based this on the Anime, as I have never read the manga, and have used an online transcript for the dialog, so it is not my fault if anything is translated wrong. That being said, I have altered quite a few lines, either to fit in my OC or just because I thought the translation was a bit dodgy.**

 **My OC also may not seem like a very important or interesting character at the moment, but that is because she is shy around people she doesn't know (as mentioned in this chapter) and because I just wanted to get Chapter One out of the way so we could get to the funnier and more interesting parts of the story. The next few chapters, she will start to open up more as she gets to know the Hosts and becomes more comfortable around them.**

 **I will add in scenes or maybe even whole chapters that didn't happen in the anime. Fun chapters like my OC going round the twins house or some of the Hosts birthdays, or a small flashback about my OC or a small bonding moment with one of the Hosts, because** _ **why not?**_ **It's also because I need to add in character development somewhere, right?**

 **Speaking of character development, this will be a slower story than others, because I really hate stories that skip things like that. One minute they are meeting each other for the first time, and then, five paragraphs later, they have a wedding planned for June – like:** _ **WHAT?!**_

 **I just wanted you to know that my OC is Haruhi's** _ **adopted**_ **sister. You will find out more about her background in later chapters.**

 **I looked up things like the Hosts birthdays, heights etc. So the things I include are their real info.**

 _ **(Last thing, I swear)**_ **I also am conflicted on who I want my OC to be with. I don't know if I want her to be with one of the twins (if so, which one), or Mori – I'm sorry but all three are bae in my opinion. Don't tell me yet (I'll tell you when to vote) but after many, many chapters, I'll need you to give your opinions on who she should be with. The reason I don't want you to tell me yet, is because I want them to know each other and be friends before developing feelings for each other.**

 **If you don't like the sound of my story, or hate it when you read it, please don't send me hate, just don't read it.**

 **Sorry for my ramblings, I hope you enjoy the story. Here's Chapter One for you all :D xxx (And I promise that future Authors Note's won't be so long.)**

Summary:

We all know Haruhi's story about her adventures with The Host Club, but what would the story be like if she arrived at Ouran with her adopted sister, Sakura. Let's find out shall we. Follow Sakura as she makes new friends, falls in love, and struggles to keep her sanity with all of The Host Clubs antics going on around her. Find out about Sakura, her past, and how she ended up living with Haruhi. There'll be drama, humour, and _yes_ there will be romance.

 **XxXxX** **-** **I Never Kiss And Tell** **-** **XxXxX**

XxXxX

One

XxXxX

Two girls stood outside the library's double doors, the brown haired, shorter one of the two, peering in. The other - a slightly taller, silver haired girl - listened to the noise emanating from inside, and huffed.

 _'_ _It's a library; people should be studying. There is no way Haruhi would be able to concentrate with everyone being that loud,'_ she thought, irritated.

The shorter girl, who had been looking in (Haruhi), shut the door with a sigh.

 _'_ _This place has four library rooms. You'd think one of them would be quiet. I'm beginning to think that rich kids only come to school to have a good time...'_

"Come on," she said, "Let's see if we can find somewhere that's actually quiet."

They then proceeded to wander around the large, overly prestigious school. It was their first day, and they had no knowledge of where they were headed, but they wanted some peace and quiet, and were positive there had to be some place, _just one_ , that supplied it. Where ever it was, they were determined to find it.

As both girls walked in silence, Haruhi was lost in thought, staring out of the many windows they passed.

 _'_ _How are things in heaven, mum? I can't believe it's been ten years already. I miss you.'_

And that is how they ended up in the quiet corridor, a sign on the ceiling pointing out that the double door on the left, lead to an abandoned music room.

 _'_ _Well, that took a while,'_ the unique haired girl almost said aloud. _'At least we found somewhere.'_

They didn't hesitate to enter.

Opening the doors and stepping inside, a bright light blinded them, and they squinted to make out some figures in the centre of what looked to be a large hall. Rose petals fluttered into their faces, and the silver haired girl quickly snapped shut her dropped jaw to avoid choking on any.

"Welcome!" a chorus of voices called out.

They didn't even realise what they had gotten themselves into.

XxXxX

 _POV: Sakura_

XxXxX

 _'_ _What the hell?'_

I blinked, regaining my eye sight after being practically blinded. When I could see again, I looked toward the people standing before me. There were six guys standing there – well, one was sitting on a chair but you get my point.

Firstly, my eyes were drawn towards the only one sitting down, and he was, I'm not going to lie, handsome as hell. I'm not the type to squeal over boys or anything, but I could acknowledge when a boy was good looking. He was tall, seemingly 6'0", with blond hair and... _purple eyes?_

 _'_ _Now those have got to be contacts.'_

Next to him stood a small, elementary school boy with blond hair, brown eyes, and a cute baby face. But he was dressed as a high school student. Just behind him was, no joke, the tallest person I think I had ever seen in my life (and I have seen my fair share of people). He stood at about 6'4", with dark hair and grey eyes, his face blank.

The next boy, had hair just as dark, with glasses perched on his nose, making the light reflecting on the lenses slightly obscure his obsidian eyes. I guess he was good looking but I was put off, by his dark eyes and his glasses glinting dangerously. He looked... _creepy_. He was also holding a black note book (*cough cough* Death Note *cough cough*) which did not help his case at all.

Lastly, there were two boys, twins, one with their hands tucked inside their pockets. They both were identical, from their height, and pointed nose, right down to the shade of their eyes; brown, but tinted amber. The only difference in appearance I could spot was the partings of their auburn hair. They had them on opposite sides of their heads.

 _'_ _How are they all so good looking?'_

"Oh wow, there's a boy." The twins said in perfect unison, their voices blending. Now that was cool.

 _'_ _Wait what...'_ I thought, confused. _'A boy? There's no... Oh. They think Haruhi's a boy.'_

I understood with the hair and everything (and I'm guessing the clothes didn't really help), but look at her face. She was clearly a girl.

Then Mr. Creep decided to speak up, "Hikaru, Kaoru, I believe this young man and woman are in the same class as you, aren't they?"

Well, at least they were smart enough to be able to tell that _I_ was a girl.

"Yeah, but he's shy. He doesn't act very sociably so we don't know much about him." They answered at the same time again.

"Oh, that wasn't very polite." The Creep – Can I call him _The Creep_? – plastered on a small, fake and unnerving smile. "Welcome to the Ouran Host Club, Mr. and Ms. Honor Student."

"What? You must be Haruhi and Sakura Fujioka. You two are the exceptional honor students we've heard about." Blondie decided he'd gone too long without speaking.

I took a small step back and closer to Haruhi as they spoke to us directly for the first time. I'm too shy to willingly hold a conversation with someone I didn't know. You can understand how that made it hard to meet people and make new friends. Haruhi, who I was practically always with, usually did all of the talking for me.

And, as expected, Haruhi spoke up, "How do you know our names?"

To which The Creep answered, "Why, you're infamous. It's not every day that a commoner gains entrance into our academy, let alone two. You must have an audacious nerve to work hard enough to fight your way into this school as honor students, Mr. and Ms. Fujioka. **"**

"Well ah – thank you. I guess."

I was debating whether or not to be insulted, when, clearly not reading into our discomfort, Blondie continued, "You're welcome. You both are heroes to other poor people. You've shown the world that even a poor person can excel at an elite private academy. It must be hard for you two to constantly be looked down upon by others."

Insulted – I should definitely be insulted.

"I think you're taking this poor thing too far." Apparently, Haruhi agreed.

"Spurned, neglected. But that doesn't matter now. Long live the poor! We welcome you, peasants, to our world of beauty!"

Can I slap him?

"Come on, Sakura. We're outta here." Haruhi muttered.

We were about to open the door, when someone called out. It was the little boy. He ran forward and grabbed us both by the arms, dragging us back, away from the door. "Hey! Come back here, Haru-chan! Kura-chan! You both must be like super heroes or something. That's so cool!"

 _Haru-chan? Kura-chan? Wait, what?_

"We're not heroes, we are honor students." Haruhi said, impatient. Then, what he called her seemed to register, as she began shaking him. "And who are you calling Haru-chan?!"

"I never would have imagined the famous scholar would be so openly gay." Blondie cut in.

I practically choked on my saliva, and had a hard time muffling my giggles as Haruhi asked, bewildered, "Openly what?"Clearly hoping she had heard wrong.

But Blondie didn't repeat, like last time, unaware to how she was feeling. Instead he carried on. "So tell me what kind of guys you're into. Do you like the strong silent type?" He gestured to the tallest of the group. Then the little boy, "The boy Lolita?" Then the twins, "How about the mischievous type?" And lastly The Creep, "Or the cool type?"

I had to repress another round of giggles at that, " _cool"_ is not the word that would jump to mind when you look at him. Something told me, however, that it probably wouldn't be wise to voice my opinions. Not that I would anyway.

"I uh... I-It's not like that." It's not often that Haruhi got so flustered. This whole situation was quite hilarious. "We were just looking for a quiet place to study..."

I didn't see him walk over, but suddenly Blondie was right in front of Haruhi, startling the shit out of me who was still right beside her.

He gestured to himself, before bringing his face down towards hers, their noses basically touching, before saying, "Or maybe you're into a guy like me. What do you say?"

Haruhi, obviously as unnerved as I was, backed up quickly; apparently not appreciating the invasion of personal space. I would have done the same if I was in her position. The only problem was the vase stationed on a pedestal right behind her. I spotted it too late, and didn't have time to warn her.

As if in slow motion, it toppled of off its perch, towards the floor. Haruhi doubled over the pedestal, attempting the catch the vase. I mentally cheered her on, and I watched as the tips of her fingers brushed against it, before...

 _SMASH!_

I just hoped that wasn't expensive.

"Awww." The twins whined.

Was that mock disappointment I heard?

"We were going to feature that Renaissance vase in an upcoming school auction." One of them said.

"Oh, now you've done it, commoner." The other continued for him. "The bidding on that vase was supposed to start at eight million yen."

I _did_ choke on my saliva this time, and Haruhi froze, still staring at the fragmented china on the floor.

Then she went into panic made, "What, eight million yen? How many thousand yen is that? How many thousands are in eight million? We're gonna have to pay you back."

 _HA!_ Pay them back? Good luck with that one Haruhi.

...

...

...

Wait... _WE?_

"With what money; you can't even afford a school uniform?" The twins chorused again.

That was true. Both Haruhi and I were classed as an exception to the school uniform, as we couldn't afford to buy it. We were, after being given special permission from the Principle, wearing our own clothes.

"What's with that grubby outfit you've got on anyway?" He directed his question to Haruhi.

His other half continued, "Your sister looks okay, but what is _that?_ " he gestured to Haruhi's baggy sweater, which, I admit, did look terrible...

The Creep, not deeming the turn of conversation worth his time, ignored them. "Well, what do you think we should do, Tamaki?"

Blondie – Sorry, _Tamaki_ –, who was now sat comfortably back in his chair answered, overdramatically, "There's a famous saying you may have heard, Fujioka's. When in Rome, you should do as the Romans do. Since neither of you have any money, you can pay with your bodies."

Cue choking on saliva.

 _'_ _He does not mean what I think he means...'_

"That means, starting today, you're the host club's dog."

I almost cried from the relief. _'At least he didn't think what I thought he did...'_

Then I realised that it still didn't really answer the question of what exactly we'd be doing as part of the Host Club. I also noticed Haruhi was lost in thought again.

 ** _'_** _She was probably thinking about her mum. She often does when she zones out like this.'_

Honey was the one to snap her out of it. "Poke, poke?"

XxXxX

For now, Haruhi and I were told to push round carts of cake and tea to supply to the guests. Not the worst punishment, as long as that meant I didn't have to talk to anyone. The only plus side was that, pushing the cart around the large room, it was quite an easy task to listen in to the many conversations happening.

A bunch of girls were sitting with Tamaki at his table, as he... _flirted?_ It sounded more like lines of poetic bullshit but, I mean, I'm no expert.

"Tamaki, what's your favourite song?" One girl asked.

"What song?" he clarified, as if she could make what she just asked any clearer. "The one that reminds me of you, of course."

"I baked you a cake today." Another asked. "Would you like to taste it?"

To which he replied, "Only if you'll feed it to me, darling."

"Oh, how you're so dreamy." The third girl sighed **.**

They were all just hopeless school girls – _Fan girls?_ – with crushes; squealing, hyperventilating, crying and fainting over the smallest of things. There was one girl, however, sitting with Tamaki, sipping tea like she was above it all. She had dark red, brown hair and was watching, bemused, with blue, grey eyes.

 _'_ _I name thee, Miss Snooty!'_

"May I have a word with you, Tamaki?" she said, catching my attention from where I was standing, behind a pillar and out of sight. "I've recently heard the host club's keeping a couple little kittens without pedigrees."

"I don't know if I'd call them that." Tamaki defended us from the unknown women, and I was thankful for that. "Speak of the devil, Haruhi's back. Thanks for doing the shopping, little piglet. Did you get everything on our list?"

And all thankfulness was gone.

"What? Piglet?" Haruhi questioned, disbelieving, as Tamaki took the shopping bag off of her.

Rifling through, he stopped suddenly, pulling out a jar of coffee, inspecting it like it was something from the future. "Hey, wait a minute. What is this?"

"Just what it looks like," Haruhi answered. Looking at him like he had purple eyes... oh wait... "It's coffee."

"I've never seen this brand before. Is this the kind that's already ground?" he questioned.

Haruhi frowned at him, "What do you mean? It's instant coffee."

Suddenly, girls were peering over the back of Tamaki's sofa at the coffee in his hand.

"It's instant?" they asked, disbelieving.

Tamaki was still lost in his own little world, now gazing dreamily at the jar he held. "Wow, I've heard of this before. It's commoners' coffee. You just add hot water."

"I didn't know there was such a thing." One girl stated. More girls and even a few hosts were gathered now.

"So, it's true then, poor people don't even have enough free time to grind their own coffee beans." Another said, aimed at no one in particular. By now, everyone in the room was looking over Tamaki's shoulder, curiosity clear on their features.

I had come out of my hiding place by this point, and was watching everything from slightly off to the side.

The Creep – whoops, slip of the tongue there; I definitely meant to say _Kyoya_ – decided the current topic needed his input. "Commoners are pretty smart."

Okay, so maybe I was glad he decided to speak up.

"One hundred grams for three hundred yen?" One twin questioned after reading off of the jar.

"That's a lot less than we normally pay." His mirror image stated.

"I'll go back and get something else." Haruhi sounded tired and exasperated. Pretty much summing up how I felt. "Excuse me for not buying you guys expensive coffee."

This is why I like Haruhi speaking for me. As well as it getting me out of talking to people I'm not comfortable to do so with, I also don't mind because what she says is usually pretty close to what I would say anyway... _most of the time._ She just had a more direct and boring way of telling people.

 _'_ _Maybe I can go with Haruhi back to the shop. Escape all the crazy people for a while. Catch a break; I think I deserve one.'_

"No, I'll keep it." Tamaki said, after a slight mental debate, crushing my hope instantly. "I'm going to give it a try. I will drink this coffee!" He stood, announcing proudly. Many people gasped and muttered about how _brave_ he was, like he had just volunteered to kill a dragon or something. _Pssh; as if._ "All right, Haruhi, get over here and make some of this commoners' coffee."

"I hate all these damn rich people." I faintly heard Haruhi mutter as she passed me on the way to where Tamaki was standing.

"Oh, Tamaki, now you're taking the joke too far. Your palate won't be able to stomach that crap." The same girl who had made comments before said. I was wondering when Snooty would say something else. Haruhi, still making her way to Tamaki, paused. "You don't have to drink it just because he bought it." She then stopped, as if just noticing Haruhi was there. "I'm sorry. I was talking to myself."

 _'_ _Of course you were...'_

Tamaki, tired of waiting, called again. "Haruhi!"

"I'm coming." She sighed tiredly. She busied herself with making the coffee, as people muttered and shifted with anticipation (For God sake people, it was just coffee. You drink it every day). Why was there a drum roll in the background...? Then, Haruhi finished, poured a cup, and handed it to an awe struck Tamaki. "Here."

Tamaki gestured to it in his usual over dramatic fashion. "Let the tasting begin."

"I'm a little scared to drink this stuff." One girl backed away, some.

"I'm afraid if I drink this, my father will yell at me." explained the girl who was next to Tamaki.

Tamaki, never one to relinquish his grasp on a chance to use more of his (* _ahem*_ ) " _romantic_ " lines, quickly grabbed the girl and pulled her into a dip, one of her legs high in the air. Don't ask me how her skirt hadn't fallen down and she hadn't flashed anybody because I have _no idea._ " _What_ if I let you drink it from my mouth?" he asked.

That's actually really disgusting. _Just Eww..._

"Oh, well then, I would drink it." She replied, blushing a deep red.

 _'_ _Are you freaking kidding me?!'_ I sweat dropped.

"This is ridiculous." Haruhi deadpanned, sweat dropping too.

We both locked eyes.

...

...

...

How much of this could we take?

XxXxX

After the whole coffee fiasco, everyone had slowly settled back down, and I was back to dishing out snacks, while Haruhi unpacked all of the shopping in one of the back rooms. A girl called me over for a refill of her tea and a slice of cake, so I pushed the cart over. This brought me over to the twins table. I was okay with that, the twins seemed normal enough.

"So," One twin was saying to his guests as I got there, "he had this nightmare that made him bolt up, right out of bed."

"Hikaru, don't tell them that story." The other twin – Kaoru – said, flushing, tears gathering in his eyes. "I asked you not to tell anyone that. Why are you so mean to me?"

Hikaru looked down at his brother guiltily, before grabbing his chin, and brining his lips inches from his own. "I'm sorry, Kaoru. I didn't mean to upset you. But you were so adorable when it happened I had to tell them. I'm sorry."

"I forgive you." Kaoru replied, staring into Hikaru's eyes.

While I tried not to throw up, the girls sitting with them apparently had different opinions.

"I've never seen brotherly love quite like that." They squealed, fanning themselves, practically hyperventilating.

I took this as my cue to leave. I spotted Haruhi, done with unpacking, was now back in the room, and I made my way over to her.

"What are they so excited about?" she said to me once I was close enough. "I just don't get it."

"Honestly, I'm not sure. Just be glad that you saw that from a distance, because trust me; you do not need a front row seat... Ugh, I feel sick." I groaned.

She patted my back in comfort.

We watched as Mori strolled in, with Honey sitting atop his shoulders.

"Sorry, we're running late." called the little boy, smiling widely at the girls waiting patiently at their table.

"Hello, Honey!" One of the girls called back. "Hey, Mori!"

"We've been waiting here for you guys, hi!" cried another.

Mori took Honey off of his shoulders, and set him down in front of their table.

"I'm sorry. I was waiting for Takashi to finish his Kendo meeting and I fell asleep." Honey yawned, rubbing one eye with a fist, before looking up at the girls with glistening eyes. "And I'm still not completely awake."

"So cute!" the girls chorused, and I understood why you would fan girl over this duo.

I clenched my fists in attempt to stop myself from running over and glomping him (what can I say, I'm a sucker for small kids. And yes, I do now know that Honey is 17 but I just can't look at him that way). As I internally babied him, however, beside me, Haruhi was still confused as to what all the fuss was about.

Instead she asked, "Is that boy really a third year student?"

"Honey-senpai may seem young and childish, but he's a prodigy. And then Mori-senpai's allure is his strong and silent disposition." Kyoya said from beside me.

You know, some people should really stop creeping around. One day, some poor unsuspecting person might choke to death on their spit, after someone just suddenly starts talking like they've been there all along.

"Haru-chan! Kura-chan!" the one who, someday, was going to be the death of me, called out – because lets be real, I could not handle that much adorableness for an extended period of time. He ran forward and swung us around by our arms at a dizzying speed. The thing is, because it was Honey I didn't mind. "Hey, Haru-chan, Kura-chan, do you wanna go have some cake with me?"

I wanted to say _'Yeah, sure',_ as I wouldn't mind speaking to just Honey (and it's not like Mori talks) but I would probably get interrogated by the girls at their table, so I just shook my head, no.

"Thanks, but I don't really like cake." Haruhi said.

Honey looked down at the floor as if contemplating, before looking back up at us with a huge grin and saying, "Then how would you like to hold my bunny, Usa-chan?"

"I'm not into bunnies." Haruhi said, quickly, and I scowled at her.

I swear, if anyone makes Honey cry, I would kill them.

"Are you saying you don't like Usa-chan?" Honey asked, seeming a little put out.

Haruhi, seeing my scowl, sighed, before looking down at the bunny, blushing slightly. "I guess he is kinda cute, huh?"

Honey stared up at her, blinking rapidly for a second, before grinning even wider than before. "Take good care of him, okay?" he asked, before skipping back to his table to roll in a girls lap as he giggled.

Haruhi stared at the bunny she held for a second, before sighing, and handing it to me to look after. I took it eagerly, hugging it to my stomach with one arm.

"You'll notice that our club utilizes each man's unique characteristics to cater to the desires of our guests." The Creep (I'm going to have to start calling him Kyoya in case I accidently end up calling him _The Creep_ out loud...) began talking again after a minute of silence. "Just so you know, Tamaki is number one around here. He is the king. His request rate is seventy percent." He informed us, not looking up from his Death Note – he seemed never to part from that thing.

I raised my eyebrows in disbelief, and Haruhi sighed in exasperation next to me.

"What's this world coming to?" she murmured.

Kyoya continued as if he hadn't heard her, which I was glad for – he still scared me. "And in order for you to pay off your eight million yen debt with us, you two will act as the Ouran Host Club's dogs until you graduate." He said smugly. "I'm sorry, I meant our errand boy. Sakura, you can be our maid." I rolled my eyes. He was reminding me of Miss Snooty. "You can try to run away if you want to, but just so you know, my family employs a private police force of one hundred officers." Why does he even need that many? "By the way, do either of you have a passport?"

Well, now he was threatening us. _Great_ – I knew he scared me for a reason.

Suddenly Tamaki was by my sister's side, literally breathing down her neck, causing her to jump away panting, but he paid no mind. "You're going to have to work hard to pay off that debt, my little nerds."

 _Nerds?_ Haruhi was the nerd, not me.

"Please don't do that again." Haruhi deadpanned.

Tamaki ignored her as usual. "You need a makeover, Haruhi, or no girl's going to look twice at you. And Sakura, you need a maid costume or something."

I let out a little huff that went unnoticed by Tamaki. I _was not_ going to dress up as maid. No way.

"Yeah, well, I'm not trying to get girls to look at me." Haruhi replied.

Tamaki gasped dramatically, as if he couldn't believe someone could say such a thing. "Are you kidding me? That's the most important thing. You have to learn to be a gentleman and please the ladies like me." He finished, brandishing a rose.

 _'_ _Where did he even get that from...?'_

"I just don't think it's all that important." Haruhi explained. "Why should I care about appearances and labels anyway? I mean, all that really matters is what's on the inside, right?" she asked. "I don't understand why you even have a host club like this."

Tamaki, of course, didn't actually grasp what she was trying to say, instead, only hearing what he wanted to hear. "It's a cruel reality, isn't it? It's not often that god creates a perfect person like moi; beautiful both inside and out!"

Both Haruhi and I sweat dropped.

"Say what?" she deadpanned.

Tamaki continued. "I understand how you feel since not everyone is as blessed as I am, but you must console yourself, otherwise how would you go on living?" Did anyone actually get was he was talking about? "And think about this. Why do you think they put works of art in museums? Because beauty should be shared with the world. And those born beautiful should promote other beautiful things."

Err, _Okay..._

"There's a word to describe people like him." Haruhi muttered, thinking hard beside me.

"That's why I started this club in the first place. I did it for those who are starved for beauty."

"What is it?" she asked herself.

"For those working day and night, pursing beauty. And..."

Haruhi was slowly getting frustrated. "Oh man, I wish I could remember that word."

Tamaki was still going on about... something. "I've chosen to share my expertise with you. Here's a tip. When setting down your glass, extend your pinkie finger as a cushion." He demonstrated on a small table with an empty glass that was there. "And that way, when you set it down, you won't be making a lot of noise. Gentlemen do not make uncouth sounds. Besides..."

"Maybe, a pain in the neck?" she questioned, then sighed. "No. There's something that fits him perfectly."

"...But above all else, you must remember... how effective a glance to this side can be."

Oh, I think I know what word Haruhi was looking for.

"I know." I said quietly, tugging at Haruhi's sleeve to get her attention.

She turned to me, an eyebrow raised, as Tamaki cam up beside us saying, "Oh, did I strike a chord?"

I kept my eyes on Haruhi and said, "Obnoxious." Tamaki gasped loudly, suddenly froze, all except his eye which began to twitch, before he was suddenly huddled in the corner of the room, knees pulled up against his chest, face blank. Now I felt guilty... _For goodness sake..._ "I'm sorry, Tamaki-senpai." I muttered quietly.

The twins, apparently had overheard the end of our... _conversation (?)..._ and popped up either side of me, each resting an elbow on my head easily due to my height difference (they're about 5'9" while I'm only 5'3").

"We knew you could talk." The one on my left said, his eyes on Tamaki. "You're a hero, now."

Haruhi sighed, "But he is a pain in the neck." She looked back to Tamaki and rolled her eyes, before calling out, "I'm sorry, senpai. Your lesson did strike a small chord with me."

And just like that, he was back again, "Really? It did? Let me teach you more, my friends."

We sweat dropped for the billionth time before Haruhi deadpanned.

"Well, he got over that quick."

"Boss." The clone on my right called.

Tamaki's reply was, "Call me king."

The twin just ignored him and continued. "You can teach him all the basics of hosting..."

"...but he's not going to get very far with the ladies if he doesn't look the part, you know." His brother finished. "He's not exactly host club material, but maybe if we took off his glasses, it'll help." He then proceeded to remove my sisters glasses before either me or Haruhi had time to react.

"Hey, I need those!" Haruhi protested. "I used to have contacts, but I lost them on the first day of school."

But no one was listening, just staring at her.

Tamaki snapped his fingers. "Hikaru, Kaoru!"

"Got it." They replied, before dragging Haruhi off, which left me standing there, confused as to what exactly was happening.

Tamaki went on to give the rest of the Hosts a job to do. "Kyoya, my hair stylist. Mori-senpai, go to the eye doctor and get him some contact lenses."

Kyoya snapped open his flip-phone while Mori rushed off.

Honey stood in front of Tamaki and asked, "What about me, Tama-chan?"

"Honey-senpai." Tamaki paused.

"Yes, sir."

"You..." Tamaki thought for a moment, before deciding. "Go have some cake."

That's how Honey ended up eating cake alone, saying sadly, "It's just us, Usa-chan. Everyone else said they were too busy."

I wanted to sit with him and I felt guilty for leaving him there, but I didn't trust everyone alone with Haruhi. I had to make sure she was alright.

When I got there both the twin were just inside of a changing room with Haruhi.

"Here." they said thrusting what I identified to be a boys uniform, into her arms. "Change into this uniform."

"What? But why?" Haruhi asked.

"Don't ask questions!" was all they said.

But Haruhi protested. "No way!"

"Change! Change! Change!" they insisted.

"Fine," she sighed, resigned. "I'll change, but you two have to get out!"

I'm assuming Haruhi pushed them, because the two brothers came flying out of the changing rooms, only just regaining their balance (in a rather impressive stance and on one leg, mind you), as they curtains were pulled swiftly closed behind them.

They looked at each other, blinking twice before saying a very intelligent, "Huh?"

I wonder what that was about.

XxXxX

It had been several minutes and all the Hosts were back, and all standing outside Haruhi's changing room.

"Um, senpai?" Haruhi called from inside.

It was obvious that Tamaki was impatient by the tapping of his foot, and he called back, "Aren't you done changing yet?"

In answer, Haruhi slid open the dividing curtains and stepped out. I'm not going to lie, she looked amazing – more like a boy, besides her facial features – but amazing all the same.

"You sure it's really okay for me to keep this uniform?" she questioned.

Tamaki looked awe struck, and I was slightly scared for my sister. "Cute!" he practically squealed, reminding me a little too much of the many fan girl this club produced. "You're as pretty as a girl! Adorable!"

"Haru-chan, you look so cute!" Honey agreed.

A brother said, "If we had known that's how you really look..."

"...we would have helped you out sooner." The other finished.

 _The Cr-_ No, _Kyoya,_ appeared to be contemplating something, before he spoke up. "Who knows, maybe he'll draw in some customers."

I raised my eyebrows. Is that all he thinks about – Money?

Tamaki noticeably perked up. "You know, that's just what I was thinking." Sure it was Tamaki. Sure it was. "Our errand boy is moving up the ranks. Starting today, you are an official member of the host club. I will personally train you to be a first-rate host." Poor you, Haruhi. "If you can get one hundred customers to request your service, we will completely forget about your eight million yen debt."

100 customers? Shouldn't take too long... right?

Haruhi just looked at him. "A host?"

XxXxX

All of the Hosts were back to their hosting duties, this including Haruhi now. I was quite amused at the whole situation at this point, and intrigued about how Haruhi would handle her own fan girls, so I decided to stick to the tables close to Haruhi.

"So, tell me, Haruhi." one girl began. "Do you have any hobbies? What do you like to do?"

"I'm curious. What kind of products do you use on your skin?" her friend asked.

The third also joined in, "Yeah, it's so pretty."

Haruhi seemed to be completely stumped on what to do, and didn't even get a chance to answer those questions before another was asked.

"So why did you join the host club, Haruhi?"

"All I have to do is get one hundred customers to request me and they'll forget about my eight million yen debt." Haruhi began, before telling them about her mother.

"I see." The girl replied once Haruhi had done with her story. "Your mother was sick and passed away ten years ago." She clarified. "Who does the chores around the house?"

"Oh, my sister, Sakura, and I do them ourselves. My mother taught me. She was an amazing cook. And when she went to the hospital, she left me all kinds of great recipes. Sakura just feels guilty leaving all the chores to me so she helps me. It's fun to create each dish together, especially when they turn out well. And it makes us happy to see our dad enjoy it. We've both had a hard childhood, but the three of us have managed to make it through okay."

Throughout Haruhi's explanation, the girls were listening intently, and I even spotted some of the Hosts listening in from their hiding spot from behind a couch.

One of Haruhi's customers blushed a deep red and started fidgeting. "So...uh..."

Her friend, noticing her discomfort, continued for her, "is it okay if tomorrow..." but ended up trailing off in nervousness, herself.

"...we request to sit with you again?" finally one of them manned up enough to ask.

Haruhi sent a kind smile their way, and said politely, "Yeah, I really appreciate that, ladies." making all three of them blush.

I rolled my eyes and began walking around again, only to end up hearing the eavesdropping Hosts conversation (not that I could talk; I'm eavesdropping, myself).

"Why is he so popular?" Tamaki questioned.

Kyoya's only reply was, "He's a natural."

"No training needed." The twins agreed.

I'd forgotten about Miss Snooty, but she decided she'd had enough of Tamaki's focus being elsewhere.

"Have you forgotten about me?"

"Oh, no, sorry princess," He hurried to her side like an obedient dog called by its mistress. "I'm just a little bit concerned about our newest host." He hurried to appease her.

She had the impertinence not to look at him as she said, "Well, that's obvious, Tamaki. You sure have been keeping an eye on him."

"Of course, I have to. I'm training him to be a gentleman like me. Haruhi, come here for a minute." he called her over with a wave of his hand.

Haruhi excused herself, and made her way over to Tamaki.

"What's up?" she asked once she was close enough.

Tamaki smiled at her before gesturing to Miss Snooty who sat beside him. "I'd like you to meet someone. This is my regular guest, princess Ayanokoji."

I saw Haruhi's eyes narrow a fraction, and I could see that she recognised her as the same lady who commented earlier. But as soon as the distaste on her face was there, it was gone – replaced by a gracious smile.

"Miss, it's a pleasure to meet you." She said, bowing slightly.

"That was so cute!" Tamaki exclaimed, face scarlet, jumping out of his seat, and snatching Haruhi up in a hug. He lifted her off the floor, spinning her around with dizzying speed. "That air of bashfulness was very good! Super good, amazingly good!"

That definitely caught Miss Snooty's attention. She sweat dropped and her eyes snapped dangerously to Tamaki, as she said, "Oh, Tamaki-"

But Tamaki was no longer paying attention to her. "Oh, you're so cute!"

I didn't know whether to burst out laughing at the expression on my sister's face, or call the police (because clearly this was classed as some sort of assault).

Before I could make up my mind, however, Haruhi took action – and it was quite a smart thing to do now that I think about it.

"Mori-senpai! Help me!" she called out.

By the time I had blinked, Mori-senpai was there, holding Haruhi under her arms, high in the air and out of Tamaki's reach.

Tamaki put on a disapproving face as he stared up at Mori. "Mori-senpai, you really didn't have to go that far." But it didn't appear that Mori was listening. Instead he was frozen, staring at Haruhi. Why did everyone keep doing that? "Come on, little one. Let daddy give you a big hug." Tamaki crooned at Haruhi.

"I've already got a dad." Haruhi deadpanned as Mori set her down gently. "I don't need another one."

"Hmph," Tamaki huffed. "Fine, I'll just have to hug Sakura instead."

At that I paled, and ran off to serve tables at the other side of the room before he spotted me. There was no way I would willingly let myself be glomped by Tamaki. No way in hell.

XxXxX

It was the next day, and Host duties were about to begin. Haruhi and I were standing away from the other Hosts, happy to have a little space to breath before the madness began. We were just standing in a comfortable silence, occasionally thinking of something we wanted to say, but it was peaceful for once. And then...

"Hey, what happened to my bag?" Haruhi asked.

I frowned and began looking around. We had left our bags here earlier. Mine was where I had left it, but beside it, where Haruhi's should have been, there was nothing. I opened my mouth to say I didn't know when something caught my eye out the window. There were things floating in the pond. I squinted my eyes to try and make out what it was, which was hard when the sunlight was reflecting off of the water, but it turned out to be... _You gotta be kidding me..._

"Haruhi," I called to get her attention, speaking at normal volume now it was just us, "I think I found your bag..."

"Where?" she whirled to face me, and I pointed to the pond out of the window. Are you kidding me? But how did that happen?" she asked annoyed and confused. "I didn't think there were bullies at this school. Hmm, guess they're everywhere."

 _'_ _Yeah... I wonder who it was though...'_

"Come on, I'll help you get it out." I smiled at her.

We decided to jog down there. It was lunch time so no teachers should see us, and we had to be quick if we didn't want to be late to the Host club (I wouldn't mind but Kyoya would probably kill us). As we were running, we passed many students, most giving us a greeting which we hurriedly returned, without slowing down. One student, however, made us skid to a halt.

"Oh, it's you again." Miss Snooty said, a smirk on her lips.

 _'_ _I could say the same thing. I was hoping I wouldn't have to see you again in our time at The Host Club. I guess that dream was too good to come true.'_

"I bet you love having Tamaki making you over and fawning over you." She continued. "It's useless, though. You're always going to be a second-class citizen." And with that, she continued walking.

 _'_ _It was definitely her. Who else would have done it? She's jealous of Haruhi...'_

I think Haruhi came to the same conclusion as me, she was smarter and usually worked things out quickly, but she didn't make a comment, just continued out to the fountain, me following. We ended up taking off our shoes and socks, and rolling up our trousers (I was still wearing my own clothes as The Host club were trying to find an outfit for me), before wading out into the pond to retrieve Haruhi's things.

We'd been at it for a while, because we still couldn't find her wallet, so she could buy lunch – I offered to give her mine or at least share but she insisted that I should eat – when the Host Club's King himself interrupted us.

"Hey, commoners!" he called to us, causing both of our heads to snap up from our search. "You've got some nerve, skipping out on the club like that. Why is your bag all wet? And what are you two doing in the pond?"

I blushed. He probably thinks we're really weird, and going for a swim or something.

"Uh, it's no big deal. We got it." Haruhi reassured, apparently deciding not to tell him about Miss Snooty's issues. I glared at her. "I just can't find my food money." She said, ignoring my heated look.

My head snapped back to Tamaki as I heard a small splash however, and my eyes widened as I saw him wading deeper into the pond, towards us. Tamaki was... being helpful?

"Hey, you don't have to do that. You'll get wet." Haruhi protested, to kind to bother anyone with her problems. The only reason she lets me is because she learnt a long time ago that I wouldn't take no for an answer.

Tamaki waved her off however, dipping his arms under the water's surface to help in our search. "A little water never hurt anyone. Besides, people are always telling me that I'm dripping with good looks." I resisted the temptation to snort. "Hang on a second." He paused, then, straightened up, wallet in hand. "This is what you're looking for?"

All I could do was stare at him, mouth open, and I could see Haruhi in my peripheral doing similar to me. Did Tamaki just... help us?

Then he ruined it by saying, "What's the matter? You're both staring off into space. You're not falling for me, are you?"

I mentally face palmed while Haruhi said deadpan, "No way." Snatching her wallet out of Tamaki's grasp.

"How did your bag end up in the pond anyway?" Tamaki questioned, eyebrow raised.

"Well, uh..." I could see the cogs spinning in Haruhi's mind as she searched for a response to that. "I guess I accidentally dropped it out the window at some point."

I _did_ face palm at that point. Not even Tamaki would believe that.

XxXxX

So, I went into the back room for, like, five minutes to reload the cart with tea, coffee and cakes, and when I get back, you know what I see?

Haruhi is sitting at her table with a customer, but not just any customer - No.

 _MISS SNOOTY._

Alarm bells go off in my head, and I quickly push my cart behind the closest pillar to their table, pretending to rearrange and neaten up the snacks as I listen to their conversation.

"Oh really, that must have been terrible." Miss Snooty was saying, "I can't imagine what I'd do if my bag fell into the pond."

That bitch – did she request Haruhi just to mock her? So help me I will go to... _Kyoya,_ and tell him what was going on.

Miss Snooty only continued. "And you actually made Tamaki search that dirty old pond with you. How astonishing. You do realize he's a blue blood, not a commoner, right?" We didn't _make_ him do anything. "The only reason he's paying attention to you and your sister is because he's trying to turn you into a gentleman and he needs someone to do the chores in this place. Don't start thinking he cares about you just because he's doting on you."

I swear to God I will slap her. _Hard._

Although I was angry, Haruhi sounded calm as she replied. "Now I understand. You're jealous of me."

I probably would have laughed if I didn't hear a loud crash. Abandoning my cart, I ran round the side of the pillar to their table to make sure Haruhi was okay, but stopped short at what I was seeing.

The table had been knocked over, smashed china cups and spilt tea on the floor, with both chairs on their sides. Ayanokoji – Miss Snooty – was on the floor propped up on her elbows, with Haruhi hovering over her. _What in the world happened?_

"No, Haruhi, leave me alone! Somebody, help!" Ayanokoji began crying out. "He just attacked me! Someone, do something! Teach this commoner a lesson!"

That's when the twins each over turned a jug of water over both Haruhi's and Ayanokoji's heads.

"Why did you do that?" she questioned.

Haruhi quickly got off of her and stood up, looking shocked and confused. Tamaki walked over to Ayanokoji, offering her a hand which she used to pull herself off of the floor.

"Do something, Tamaki. Haruhi just assaulted me." She whined to him, as he brushed the dripping hair out of her face.

Haruhi would never do something like that, especially considering she was a straight female herself. She must have pulled Haruhi onto her or something.

"I'm disappointed in you." Tamaki said to her, and my heart stopped. He worked it out? "You threw his bag into the pond, didn't you?"

Ayanokoji froze, looking to Tamaki with wide eyes. "You don't know that. Do you have any proof that I did?" she said, suddenly defensive.

"You know, you're a beautiful girl." He caressed her face. "But you aren't classy enough to be our guest, dear. If there's one thing I know, Haruhi is not that kind of a man."

I grinned, probably the widest grin I had so far, and suddenly felt very grateful for Tamaki, for this and the Fountain Incident.

"But why, Tamaki?" Ayanokoji said, horrified, before running out of the room crying. "You idiot!"

Well, at least she's finally gone. Tamaki then turned to Haruhi, a thoughtful expression on his face. Uh oh – I have been here long enough to know that it's never a good thing when Tamaki thinks of something.

"Hmm, now how am I going to punish you – because it is your fault after all?" Huh? _Punish?_ How the hell is this Haruhi's fault? "Your quota is now one thousand!"

"One thousand?" Haruhi questioned, sounding just as faint as I felt. She looked at me I could see that she was close to insanity at this point.

One hundred? She could do that. It wouldn't be too hard. One thousand? Lord help us...

Tamaki just smiled at her. "Come on. I've got high expectations for you, my little rookie.

"This is the only spare uniform we have." Kyoya interrupted, and I remembered that Haruhi was dripping wet from the twins. "Sorry, but it's better than a wet one, right?" Was it just me or did Kyoya seem a bit smug as Haruhi took the offered bag.

"Thanks a lot, you guys. I'm gonna go change." Was all Haruhi said.

XxXxX

The other Hosts and I followed behind Tamaki towards the changing rooms where Haruhi was, Tamaki holding a stack of towels. I guess I was a little dumb for not realising it sooner, but I worked out, a little too late that Tamaki, still convinced Haruhi was a boy, would just walk in.

"Tamaki, don't-" I reached forward to grab him, but opened the curtains before I could stop him. I slowly backed away, a grimace on my face. From where we were, no one else could see Haruhi but hopefully she wasn't too undressed or anything yet.

"Haruhi, here you go. I brought you some towels." He said, before stopping. He'd obviously just looked up.

It was silent for a minute, before Tamaki took a step back, letting the curtain he had been holding up, drop closed again.

"Haruhi?" Tamaki asked calmly.

Honestly I think he was in shock.

"Yeah." She replied.

Tamaki paused for a moment. "So, you're a girl?"

"Biologically speaking, yeah." Haruhi answered. She drew the curtains back, revealing herself, now fully dressed in the female Ouran uniform (what I call: The Duck Dress). "Listen, senpai, I don't really care whether you guys recognize me as a boy or a girl. In my opinion, it's more important for a person to be recognized for who they are rather than for what sex they are." She finished, smiling kindly.

"Well, isn't this an interesting development." Kyoya said, to no one in particular.

"Oh, yeah." the twins agreed.

Haruhi was still smiling. "Uh, you know, I have to say, senpai. I thought you were pretty cool earlier."

I watched as Tamaki froze, a deep blush creeping onto his cheeks.

Kyoya seemed amused by this, as he said, "Now I could be wrong, but I think we may be witnessing the beginnings of love here."

"You know," Haruhi said, thoughtfully, turning to face me. "Being a host and getting fussed over by a bunch of girls might not be that bad." I watched, amused as she continued to talk. "I wonder how I could pull it off... I've got it! I'll just call everyone dude and bro now!" she looked at me, eyes lighting up like they usually did when she got an idea.

Our eyes met, and that was all it took for us both to burst into giggles, the other Hosts staring at us like we'd lost it – and maybe we had after spending so much time with them. But one thing was for sure...

 _'_ _Maybe this won't be so bad...'_

 **AN* So what did you think?**

 **I hope you enjoyed it. I worked on this for quite a long time; I'm not that fast at typing. I'm sorry if it takes a while to get the next chapter up, as I basically write 1 episode a chapter, but it means that the chapters can be longer, so...** ** _yeah_** **.**

 **Tell me what you think so far, I really appreciate it. Any questions will be answered in the bottom Authors Notes (like this one), as well as shout outs to anyone who just sent in a review.**

 **Thank you so much – Until next time xxx**

 **XxXxX**


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